Taking Time to Rest

On my morning walk along a stream where the water is lower, I noticed something sticking out of the water. As I got closer, I saw ducks floating behind it. At first, I thought how the mini wall was impeding their path which made me think of all the “walls” we run into in life. So, I felt annoyed for the ducks having to deal with this object blocking their path.

However, as I stopped and watched, the ducks didn’t seem to be bothered at all. In fact, they seemed to be enjoying the calmer water this “barrier” was creating. I also noticed how they were putting their heads into the water which I’m guessing was for food and they seemed to find a lot by the mini wall.

This caused me to reflect on how I have been feeling mentally and physically exhausted / overwhelmed. It’s almost as if I am trying to swim against the current and feeling trapped behind walls that don’t appear to budge. I’m still moving forward and doing good things I’ve avoided. However, I’m struggling to feel any joy in the journey as everything just feels like one more task to do, even things that are good for me.

I think in these moments, we need to find calmer currents and show ourselves some self-compassion and care. Maybe we too need to stick our head in the water to find nourishment or just float calmly giving our tender souls some much needed rest.

I often hear people comment on how they are the hardest on themselves, both in what they say and do, or don’t do. I couldn’t agree more. The way I talk to myself is never the way I talk to others. For myself, I do it because it’s what I know. I have lived with shame for so long, believing I was bad, that I haven’t known anything different … until now.

One thing that has really helped is to accept that my best is going to be different every day. Today I accomplished several things I wanted to and tomorrow I may not. Does it mean I’m trying any less? I don’t think so. I just think the best I can give will vary depending on a variety of factors and it’s okay if one day looks different from the next.

The more I have embraced this thinking the more I have learned to show compassion and offer words of tenderness to my aching heart. I even started apologizing to my body when I have stuffed it full of food that it hurts to breathe. I don’t intend to create such discomfort but it’s an old survival mechanism to keep me from feeling tough emotions like heartache, shame, or loneliness.

So, if you feel you’ve run into a barrier, follow the ducks’ example and take some time to rest and nourish your soul. Maybe it’s not a barrier but rather something trying to let you know that self-compassion and care is needed, including validation that you’re doing your best. It’s what I feel is calling to me now and sometimes it’s as simple as putting my hand to my heart and saying, “it’s okay sweetheart, we’ve got this.”