Speak Your Truth

I recently came across a journal entry I wrote in 2007 that I want to share.

“I actually think it would help church congregations to be vulnerable and to show our weaknesses. I think sometimes we feel that we must put on our perfect self to go to church. When life is weighing us down, many try to pretend all is okay. I think that is why so many individuals struggle, trying to measure up to everyone else.

I think truth gets looked at as not telling a lie. Truth is so much more than that. It is being real. It is willing to be vulnerable and honest in our interactions with others. Truth means admitting when we’re struggling or depressed. Truth is accepting that our lives aren’t perfect and that is okay.

Truth, I believe, is the ultimate power. It is where the light shines the brightest. Imagine how our congregations would be if everyone dealt in truth. I think at different times we forget that we don’t have to be perfect or be just as good as our neighbor. We should embrace our imperfections because then we can start on the path that leads to wholeness.”

I still believe today what I wrote in 2007. It is why I am writing this blog because I strongly believe that being truthful about our vulnerabilities is very needed at this time. How many people are suffering in silence because they are afraid to be honest about how they feel due to fear of judgement or shame?

Several months ago, I had an experience with two individuals where I was vulnerable in sharing some of my deep struggles in attending church and wondering if I belonged. I was shocked at how honest I was in expressing the shame I felt while there. Or how I just wasn’t feeling the spiritual upliftment I desperately wanted to feel. In fact, I was struggling to feel anything but loneliness, shame, and even anger.

They listened attentively, kind and supportive words were expressed, and I felt no judgement from them. However, it helped me realize that when sharing our truths, we must also let go of any desired outcome. The continued support I hoped for afterward did not happen and I felt angry, reeling from the shame of being too vulnerable. Yet, I also couldn’t deny how liberated I felt for removing my masks.

That experience helped me to see that admitting our struggles is not a sign of weakness and not a lack of faith. If anything, I see it as embracing our faith, wherever that faith is directed. It’s easy to slip into thinking that it’s more acceptable to talk about faith and hope versus shame or depression, especially in a religious setting. Yet it’s things like shame and depression that often rob us of faith and hope.

The reality is, there isn’t a right or wrong way to feel, and we shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to admit the truth of our experiences, whether good or difficult. Today I felt somewhat happy in the morning and then later I was grumbling over how others seemed to have an easier life than I did, and it didn’t feel fair.

However, I don’t know what other people are experiencing in their own lives. So, I often must remind myself that not everything is about me—even though my ego would strongly disagree. 😉 When I compare my experiences to others, I only create more suffering within. This helps me remember that the more I choose to live an authentic life and be honest about it, the more space it creates for others to do the same.

So, whatever your experiences may be, don’t be afraid to wisely admit how you are really doing when it feels effective to do so. You just might help someone who feels very lost and alone. Then imagine who that person might one day help when they feel brave enough to share their truths. Who knows how far out the ripple effect might go—it’s kind of exciting to realize the power of owning and speaking our truths.